


Age of Who?

by heli0s



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Friendship, Humor, Multi, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-04-08 06:45:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4294689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heli0s/pseuds/heli0s
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why were you hanging out with a bunch of punks again? Punching stuff in the face? Oh yeah... for world peace.</p>
<p>Reader/Various/eventual Pietro Maximoff</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Boys... And Tony.

**Author's Note:**

> This story follows the Ultron movie, with a few extra things here and there. Just a series of drabbles/PWP/me having fun with the characters. The Reader's character is sort of a foil to everyone else... lol

It always seemed like you were constantly biting off more than you could chew. As the rest of your team kicked ass through the snowy tundra, you lagged behind trying your hardest to concentrate your powers. It wasn’t your first choice to go on this mission, really. If anything, you were sometimes more of a liability to the team than a help. Your powers were volatile at best… and at worst… they didn’t work.

“_Name_, what’s your status?”  
Cap’s voice came in your ear. You winced.

“Um… You know, it’s kind of working. Sort of?”  
“Wow. That sounds… hm, not great.” Tony’s biting comment chimed in, “Why did we bring her again?”  
“Stark, not now.”

“Come on, Tony,” Natasha grunted. You could hear her shoot someone and the sound of a hard kick. She returned to the conversation a little winded, “Remember the alien thing? We’re all very punchy and physical, we sort of need a ranged fighter.”  
“Um. We have Hulk? Did no one get the memo on that? Why do we need another backup when our backup can literally destroy everything and look great in green while doing it?”

You groaned. All you wanted to do, Tony, was catch up. Your bike had been totaled a while back so at this point, you were on foot, trekking it, and hoping you don't just freeze to death. Yes, okay, Banner looked great in green and could kill everything ninety-times over, but goddamn it! You were trying!

“What’s your ETA?” Clint, this time, generally trying to stay out of arguments. You appreciated it.

“10, max–woah!”  
Bullets flew past your vision, and you threw yourself backwards just in time to dodge them. 

“Don’t die now. Or do. Whatever. Not my problem?”  
Pulling yourself off the ground, you spotted five shooters just 10 feet out. They took aim but you managed to roll out of the way, hiding yourself behind a tree trunk. Bullets embedded themselves in the wood against your back. If there was any time for your powers to finally obey, this was it. Clenching your fingers, you felt the shuddering of the trunk as you willed the bullets out. Yes, a great first step.

“Are you dead? Do we need to --”  
The bullets fell to the ground, your concentration lost. God, damn it…  
“Stark! NOT. NOW.”  
“Friends, this is not the time to bicker--“

The voices literally in your head were driving you insane. Was it bad enough that it took you an hour into this dumb mission to finally move something? Or would you always have to suffer these arguments too?  
“WOULD YOU ALL JUST SHUT UP?"

Behind you, a row of trees uprooted and smashed themselves together, sending splinters into the bodies of all five soldiers.  
You breathed a sigh of relief, feeling adrenaline rush through your veins and a surge of pride wash over you. 

“Boys… and _Tony_ ,” You smiled, clenching your fists together, “Looks like we’re back in business.” 

The muttering of Tony's protests were lost on you. Something flicked on, and now, you were out for blood.


	2. A Souvenir

The Iron Legion had been launched into the city. You tried to tell Tony that it might not have been the best idea but he was quick to rebuff you, saying something about how useless team members shouldn’t have any input. Instead of giving him more reason to argue, you channeled your hatred of Tony Stark into something more enjoyable… like destroying everything and pretending it was his house or... face.

The next bunker that came into view you demolished within seconds. And being the resourceful little telekinetic you are, you lifted a load of bricks and flung them at HYDRA troops. Preparing yourself to keep moving forward, you suddenly found your body flying through the air and the wind being knocked out of you.

You landed ungracefully on our stomach, eating a mouthful off snow and leaves.  
“What th–“ The side of your face was stinging from the impact and cold. What the hell just happened?

“Clint! Guys, he’s been hit pretty bad, we need evac!”  
Again, what the heeellllll just happened? 

Still clamoring to your feet and wiping melted bits off your face, you saw a sunken in snow-trail leading away from where you had just stood.   
Through the earpiece Captain America grunted and you heard the the sound of his feet landing hard in the snow.  
“Hey, we got an enhanced in the field.”

Ugh, of course. You hated unpredictability and much preferred to battle things you could rely on to always have the same effect: guns, tanks, bombs. Unpredictability was your whole life and it was always unpleasant.  
“Are you serious? Now we have to play freakshow too?” 

As soon as the words left your mouth, you found yourself hurled through the air again. This time, it wasn’t snow you land on, but a broken tree trunk. Your back felt like it popped out of place. Whatever was hitting you, was hitting you pretty hard.  
Faintly, you swear you could hear a heavy Sokovian accent spitting venom at you:

“Freakshow? What are you, then?”  
“This is BULLSHIT!” You scream back at it, wherever it had run off to.  
“Be careful, _Name_! We don’t know what they’re capable of!” You brushed away Roger’s warning.  
“Well, I hope they’re capable of kissing my ass.”

“Kissing your ass? Is it a joke?” The enhanced whizzed by you, spitting a mouthful onto your shoe. Standing your ground, you swore that two times was two too many, and the third time, you were going to have him on his ass. He was fast, that was for sure, but his eagerness was predictable and you noticed from his trails that he preferred to run in a straight line.

Hearing the familiar whoosh of air approach, you swung your body toward it, thrusting your hands forcefully at him. An invisible shield held the two of you apart, and in the closeness you could see his bloodshot eyes glaring through you. Lifting your right hand, you struggled to maintain the barrier while clenching your fingers together and grabbing a handful of his silver hair. He screamed.

“_Name_, do NOT engage!”  
“Screw that!" You cried defensively, "I’m going to rip this asshole a new asshole!” Said "asshole" snarled and bared his teeth.  
You turned your right hand in the air and the hair twisting itself around in front of you began to shred. Unfortunately, your shield found this to be the perfect moment to disappear and the man you were somewhat safely guarded from reached out a heavy arm and knocked you right in the mouth. You tumbled backwards, tasting copper. By the time you could look up he was already gone.

“Fuck.”

Something tickled your forehead and slowly landed on your nose. Swiping at it, you opened your hand to see strands of dark roots tapering into silver, a little smeared with blood.


	3. A Souvenir II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter a long time ago and lost it when Lunaescence went down. Sorry it took so long!

Agent Hill reconvened with the team upon landing with her tablet in hand, striding past Clint being wheeled off. She stepped onto the Quinjet, heels clicking against the ground. You were always impressed at the way her and Nat seemed to walk so quickly wearing those things. They honestly looked like medieval torture devices and you would probably break both ankles trying.

“Lab’s all set up, boss,”

You perked up from your spot as she showed Steve videos of the twins. Maria gave you a slight nod, and you gleefully hopped over, following her and Cap back into the building.

“He’s got increased metabolism and increased homeostasis, her thing is neuro-electric interphasing and telekinesis,” Maria raised an eyebrow at you, “She’s you, but better. Looks like you’ve got some competition.”

You rolled your eyes. You had long ago accepted your fate as an unreliable telekinetic, so these insults really didn’t hurt your feelings too much. Regardless, the girl isn’t who you cared about anyway; you were way more interested in the weird jogger guy who looked like he hadn’t slept in a couple of centuries.

You and Steve stepped into the elevator as Maria looked on.

“And he’s very fast,” she commented, taking a final look down at the screen. It was paused on two faces, screaming in a crowd.

A smirk curled up on your lips as you dug your hand into your pocket. Holding it forward, you let the silver strands drop before winking.

“Apparently not _that_ fast,”

Maria watched as the elevator closed, her wide eyes travelling from the door to the few pieces that had drifted next to her patented heels. She backed away slightly. _Oh hell no_. She was putting that moment away into a dark place and never taking it back out. There was obviously something wrong with a grown woman who was bringing _hair_ back with her as a souvenir. But, Maria sighed, she should have expected it from you, out of all people.

She shuddered as she thought back to some of the things she’s seen you do- one moment in particular haunted her to this very day:

At Tony’s last party, when all the guests had gone home for the night, Maria Hill came upstairs to say goodbye. It was 4 AM, and from the door she could hear faint laughter and some grunting. Upon stepping into the room, she saw you, sprawled out on the couch, giggling madly, and nursing a bottle of wine. One hand was waving over your head as if you were an orchestra conductor.

In the air were Clint and Thor, floating, drunk, and punching themselves in the face with their own fists.

Maria suppressed another shudder.

_Oh heeeeellllll no._


	4. I Do

As you bounced on your heels in the elevator, you kept seeing Steve take sly glances from the corner of his eye. He was doing that thing- you could tell- where he’d try to find just the perfect combination of words in order to make an inherently awkward conversation less awkward. Didn’t he know by now?

“Just do it~” you sang playfully,  
“D-do what?”  
“Say it, Cap; let your words flow like a beautiful patriotic river,”

Steve lowered his chin to his chest, “I just hope, well, I just hope that comment we made about experiments didn’t… offend you,”

“What comment?” You smiled as the elevator doors swung open. Skipping out, you waved goodbye and made a right, bee-lining down the hallway, probably to find Barton and poke at the hole in his side. Watching your disappearing figure, Steve sighed for the 50 millionth time since he’s known you. Even after spending years together, he still couldn’t decipher when you were saying things to spare his feelings, or if you were truly _that_ oblivious. But Steve knew it was often best to let sleeping dogs lie… or in your case, sleeping… dragons or behemoths, perhaps.

 

When you came upon Dr. Cho’s makeshift lab, Tony was holding the door open for Bruce as they exited. Sliding in the small space left behind as the door swung shut, you smiled at Clint as he played tongue hockey in attempts to get a straw into his mouth.

“Look! All shiny and new agai-­­ what the hell are you drinking?”   
“Want some of mine?” Nat asked looking up from her own cup, “It’s not so bad,” she smirked. You weren’t about to fall for her wily tricks. That cup looked absolutely disgusting- it was pond-water green, for crying out loud. Spume and everything!  
“Take it, kid. Girl your age needs some more fiber and whatever else is in here. Christ, I think this is making me better faster than Dr. Cho is,”

A round of chuckles arose from the women in the room. Natasha turned to Helen and began to tease her for having a crush on someone… you didn’t really care. You were more interested in Clint.

“Hey,” you whispered as you leaned in closer to the perfectly rectangular spot of tissue being reformed on his body, “Did you see that guy?”

“What guy? Jeez, will ya back up a little, kid?”  
“C’mon Clint, the _fast_ guy?”  
“No, I didn’t see him, he was too fast. Aw c’mon __Name__, don’t touch it, I’m gonna get your tissues on my tissues!” You were doing jazz-hands around the lasers, but sobered up when Dr. Cho sent a warning glance your way. She couldn’t fight worth a damn, but sometimes the scary ones didn’t need to fight at all.

“__Name__,” she called, pulling your attention away from a relieved Clint, “Will you be going to the party Saturday?”

Nat looked at you, smirk still lingering on her lips, “You can finally learn how to wear heels like I do.” she cooed.   
You grimaced, “Why? Must I? Does everyone wear them? Helen?”

The young doctor nodded, stifling her laugher behind a demure smile, “I do,”  
“Clint?”  


A pause.

“Eh. Sometimes.”


	5. Party Pooper

You touch the rough beads against your legs and regarded yourself in the mirror. This was ridiculous; you can’t wear this.   
  
Natasha had stormed into your room earlier and rummaged through your closet. Upon finding nothing but an array of “not-party” items, she began her quest to find you the perfect dress. 30 minutes later, she was back with a … god, what the hell was that thing.

“I’m not taking no for an answer,” she smiled sweetly. You had looked at it, and although it wasn’t a terrible dress, the sequins were just absolutely not your style. This thing would probably light up the room like a disco ball, and the ball would be your ass. In her other hand was a pair of heels with rhinestones on the stilettos. You had managed a weak protest before she pressed a finger to your lips and walked away. You gulped, thinking of all the ways she could cut you up into little pieces and scatter your body around the earth. Out of all the super-powered, green, godly, alien things you've encountered, Natasha seemed to beat them all.

You ended up curling your hair lightly and applying a plum balm. Eyeshadow always ended up looking clownish on you anyway, so you didn’t even try.  Next up: shoes. Squeezing your feet into the heels, you stood shakily before taking a few tentative steps towards the mirror. Immediately, you rolled your ankle.

“FUCK”

Snarling, you decided that no matter how much you feared Natasha, walking was more important.

* * *

The party was in full swing by the time you limped out of the hall. Thor, seeing you shuffle around awkwardly, came and greeted you.

“_Name_! You look quite lovely tonight!” He called as he approached, drink in hand, “I’ve never seen you in a dress!”  
“Jesus don’t say it so loud,” You whispered, grabbing the drink from his hand and throwing it back.  
“That is quite a strong concoction... I am afraid of what your demeanor might be soon,” he warned.

You winked, and the horror began to rise in your friend’s eyes as he remembered The Fated Wine-Punch Night. Quickly, he sped away. You continued down the stairs to find Tony next to two blonde women and Lt. Rhodes. Tony looked you up and down in approval before stopping at your feet.

“Uh… what are you wearing into my party?”  
You looked down at your shoes, “What? Vans aren’t acceptable but your shitty Windsor knot is?” Tony quickly put a hand to his chest, turning to mouth to Rhodes. The Lieutenant quietly assured him that his knot was impeccable.

“She’s getting mean again,” Tony remarked, “How many drinks have you had?”   
You held up one finger, “I got it from Thor.”  
Tony pressed two fingers to his temple and squeezed the bridge of his nose, “You just drank 1000 year-old fermented space-vodka from Asgard. Rhody, we have to leave. We have to stop the party. She’s going to shoot us into the moon.”

Rhodes put his arms around the two women and ushered them away hurriedly. Tony followed suit before turning to look at back at you, “Seriously though, we’re going to pump your stomach later.” You rolled your eyes before finding a chair to sit in. Pulling the hem of the dress down so that it’d cover your ass, you smiled. At this rate, you could go back to your room early and take this god-forsaken saran wrap off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More silliness. Lol what's a plot tho???


End file.
